Friday, October 10, 2008
Eto n nmn ako nag eemote. Bakit ba kasi ganito ang buhay. I am trying to move on pero parang di pa tlga nakakalimot ang puso ko. I am opening my door naman to other person pero parang wala nmn akong maramdaman na something special. Everyday nagttxt c new boylet pero di ko tlga sure kung kaya ko ba siya mahalin. Everytime I got a chance to communicate with beh I can still feel how happy I am but at the same time it cause me a lot of pain knowing that he can't be mine. The last time we talked, it's like I was stabbed on the heart. Sabi nya as of now he wants to bring back the old us. Nung time na friends lang kami. I know wala naman na talaga pag-asa na bumalik sya sa kin kaso lang pano b tlga ang dapat gawin. I have tried to hate him, to stop communicating with him and the worst thing is to pretend to like another guy but he just can't get out of my mind.Everytime he calls out my name I felt like my body is tearing apart. I want to fly back home and hugged him.
My greatest fear when I go back is the possibility that I can do crazy things for him.
I always asked my help these questions:
"Why he didn't choose me? Why can't he love me more than her?"
Sunday, June 08, 2008
A friend of mine always told me that I should gain some weight. His comments made me think about it and I promised that I would. Thus eversince I stepped in this place, one of my target is to add some cushion on my body. After few months away from home, I have gained 3-4 kilos. Somehow I was happy but whenever I see my bloated face in the mirror I am having second thoughts of it. Now, I am controlling myself to eat too much specially rice. In short, I'm on a diet... sometimes :D because it's hard to resist my appetite..hehe..
But one thing that I realized, I am happy on what I am. I am comfortable of being skinny. Although it's not that bad if I gain some weight but I should not do it just to please him.
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Mood swings had taken me these days remembering the melancholic drama of the past month. Never tasted the peace of mind that I longed for nor the past recovery of my soul. I'll be leaving soon but I still have doubts if distance will heal the broken pieces of my heart.One month had already passed by without you by my side but even the distance never stopped my thoughts of you. I remembered that I was just playing with you at first wanted to know what you really feel but I end up losing the game.
I already got the signs but I keep on waiting. Keeping in mind, what my prof in Ene said, at the "right temperature" the reaction will proceed.
I'm hoping to make the right and firm decision soon and that is to move on. Nobody can help me but myself.
I am not sure why I am writing this entry but I do hope this would be the last entry about the glum thing.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
We started our Nihonggo class last Monday. At first I'm very interested in learning the language. I really enjoyed the first day coz I learned new Japanese words. But just yesterday and I must say " Hiragana wa muskashi desu." Grabe nangangamote talaga ko. Parang kinalawang na nga ang utak ko tagal na kasi di nagagamit. hahaha...Waaahhh. Need to study my lessons more and to listen to my teacher attentively. Pasaway kasi ang daldal ko. May balak pa naman ako kumuha ng exam tas mag change na ko ng career..hehehe..
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Ang bilis ng araw, November na at malapit na ang Christmas.Excited ako dahil sa Kris Kringle at Christmas party but at the same time I have this fear na baka kasi umalis na kmi before Christmas.. Haaay ayoko sana pero anong magagawa ko if ever na sabihin ngang aalis na kami.
Nalulungkot din ako dahil malalayo ako sa mga friends at pag naiisip kong most probably wala na sila pagbalik ko...huhuhu..ngayon pa lang nagdadrama na ko pano pa kaya pag paalis na ko..haaaay...
Eniwei, I will try to enjoy every single day that I am still here in the Philippines.
Monday, November 05, 2007
I've been hurting for almost a month. Sabi nila it's better if I feel the pain so I can move on easily but it was really hard for me. I cried everytime I saw him happy with his "the one". Yeah, you can call me selfish but that is what I really feel.Call me bad coz I'm using a guy friend just to know if he would be jealous. Although sometimes it's unintentional. One instance, I told this guy friendof mine about this and he said "Malala ka na magpatingin ka na sa doctor". Yes, perhaps I'm crazy but sometimes I want to hurt him, I just don't know if it's working. Hahaha, czazy me!
I wanna end this feeling soon. Hopefully soon..
Just when I thought I found happiness....
Well, just for a moment...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Makulit ako, oo. Ilang tao na ba ang nagsabi non?!Ewan di ko na mabilang but I really appreciate the people who made me realize that I was wrong. Tigas lang talaga ulo ko.
However there is one person whom I appreciated so much. Akala ko kasi dati kalokohan lang alam nya tas wala sya pakialam sa kin kahit ako super concern kasi nga friend ko sya. But just now he made me realize that he really cares for me as a friend at concern sya sa kin.
Nakakatawa kasi lahat ng tao ini-expect na sya ung "The One" ko kaso hindi.
I am really thankful na naging friends kami.
~IntrO~
Name: Sunflower Princess
Location: Philippines
School: UP Diliman
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